Wednesday, March 08, 2017

Eulogy

How shall I remember Mother?

She epitomized Home.

Mother’s life wasn’t all about food, but when I began to think and talk about what her life meant to those around her, it was often her cooking that triggered memories of her warmth, and her gift for providing a welcome to nephews and nieces and anyone that came for a meal or to stay.

Hilary, Frances, Clive and I will always remember her roast dinners, a benchmark for future generations, and to others the mention of salmon mousse or perhaps the legendary chocolate biscuit cake or apple amber would bring back vividly the good times in Saxonhurst, or Broadway Lea or later Windgarth. Those recipes have travelled down the generations, although there was a time when I was convinced she always kept back some hidden ingredient, as hers was always that little bit better.

We were all away at school at times but never felt out of touch. There would be comfort food to take back after weekends at home, perhaps a large sticky ginger cake, or white christmas cake..

Mother had her mischievous side too. When I was in the cadet force. We had an afternoon exercise up on the Mendips, which coincidentally was not far from Shipham and Broadway Lea…

Our team were defending Burrington Combe and the other team were trying to attack and they were creeping their way and trying not to be discovered and Mother picked us up, took us home to Broadway Lea for tea and cake. So we had a cup of tea and cake and then she took us back out again and no-one was any the wiser. And all this was before mobile phones were invented!

She also used to deliver the roughest cider from Wootton to the school, for us to consume at celebration evenings.

She was the Home Support Team Taxi Driver. Anywhere.

She was passionate about bridge - in Stafford aged 3 or 4, my sisters Hilary and Frances used to lean over the bannisters to see the Bridge Four coming, remembering the lacy tea cloths and dainty cups. And later in life, when she was less mobile she would still insist on driving to collect her partner and take her to play cards.

And golf. In particular I remember her discussion with my father when she had just been elected Ladies Golf Captain – you’ve seen one of the cups she won - and how she was planning what she had to do for fixtures and so on. This was a side – running things outside the home – that we hadn’t seen before.

She left behind 4 children, 7 grandchildren, 10 great grandchildren.

When my daughter Alexandra was growing up, mother was assiduous about keeping in touch with her grandchildren, and I remember the many times she would take the three of us to lunch at the golf club or the Old Colonial and talk about how Alexandra was doing. Stephanie Paul Fran, Helen, Alexander and Kate have similar affectionate memories of their time spent with Mimi.

And later she loved it when her great grandchildren came to visit and entertain her.

She had guts. After my father died in 1981 - and perhaps taking her resolve from the war years and food shortages when, like most families at the time when my father was away for long periods, she had to fend as a lone parent for her two girls - in the final third of her life, when previously most travel had been organised by my father, she took to organising quite a lot of world travel on her own…

In fact it was quite soon after my Father died that Mother was arranging a trip to stay with me in Manila, taking on many new experiences.  Again showing a side of her character that she had kept hidden under the shadow of my father.

In general her traveling was very successful – going to Africa for a Safari and Champagne Balloon Ride for instance - apart from the time she left her passport behind when going to visit Clive in Germany – solved by someone taking a rather lengthy trip from home in Somerset to Victoria coach station…

She was self effacing. On her birthdays she made a habit of booking perhaps a weekend away so as not to be at home – she didn’t like a fuss about herself.

Clive, who dedicated many recent years to her care, reminded me of Mother’s abiding sense of humour in the midst of much pain. As did Jenny.

In her final years, when her health got the better of her, her smiling nature was a delight for those who cared for her, and even the ambulance crews who ferried her to operations in Bristol remarked on how her buoyant cheerfulness shone through.

Born in the middle of the conflict of the first world war, she died on Valentines Day – her life was so full of love - and now we celebrate her life on International Women's Day.

As her daughter in law Katie, who remembered teaching her how to snorkel in the South China Sea when she was 65, said “She lived an exemplary life, had a wonderful sense of humour, and was always gracious and kind. Mimi was very adventurous …. A true woman of her generation, you won't find many like her anymore.”

May she rest in peace.

† Joan Johnston 20 September 1915 - 14 February 2017  R.I.P.

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